I Refuse to Pretend

Sunday, November 3rd, 2019



It’s crazy, how many times I’ve heard the word “pretend” or “fake it” at a wedding. The videographer will say “pretend to walk up the stairs”. Or an onlooker to a boutonniere struggle will say “just fake it for the photograph”.

It’s not fair to fill your day with things that aren’t real.

There will be unscripted moments at weddings that happen far more frequently than the scripted – you will actually walk hand in hand up a flight of stairs. You will have to lump your dress up into a ball of fabric to carry it across a puddle. You will walk back to a room that’s void of people and breathe a sigh of relief for a moment. Your parent won’t be able to figure out the boutonniere, so your aunt will come to the rescue – and it’s photograph worthy.

Yeah, maybe you’ll choose to cut a cake and whatever – but the best photograph will be the one where you’re sitting at your table actually enjoying it. Or better yet, your group of friends at table 12 who are playing a wicked secret drinking game and one person in particular is losing.

There will be moments of gorgeous in between all of the things you “have” to do – so I’m not about to add to that list. You can walk up the stairs without pretending. You can actually run around a little and hug and cry and hold people dearly close. Putting on a show is not the goal of this day. You’re here to enjoy a party.

And that’s enough for me.


Hey! I'm Makayla, a wedding photojournalist based in Duluth, MN and Saint Paul, MN. 

I believe that stories are best told untouched, undirected, and with intentionality and meaning.

This blog is a space to share advice for couples about weddings, advice for photographers about witnessing events with intention, and steps to create decisions based on your values and what matters most to you.

Grab your favorite beverage, pull up a chair, and let's get to know each other.


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